Renée Okafor, LICSWYou're allowed to take up space
In brief
For everyone who's ever apologized for existing, softened themselves to be easier, or worried they're 'too much.' A note on self-worth.
A lot of the people I sit with share a quiet belief: that they're somehow too much and not enough at the same time. Too needy, too sensitive, too emotional — and also not successful enough, not calm enough, not worthy of the space they take up. It's an exhausting way to live.
Where it comes from
Usually this isn't a character flaw; it's a lesson. Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that love felt safest when we were small, easy, low-maintenance. That made sense then. It costs a lot now.
In therapy, we gently question that old lesson — not to blame anyone, but to loosen its grip. You're allowed to have needs. You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be a full, inconvenient, wonderful human. We practice believing it a little more each week.
About the author
Renée Okafor, LICSW
Founder & Clinical Director · Longwater Counseling Collective
Renée founded Longwater in 2016 and works with trauma and perinatal mental health. On a group practice's blog, posts carry the name of whoever wrote them — a byline is how a reader finds the clinician whose thinking they liked.